Style
and
Bargain.
Does your heart swell at their mention? Does your pulse quicken? I invite you to join me in the embrace of our common loves in an orgy of cheapskate haberdashery. Let us here and now celebrate our thrift-store triumphs, our hand-me-down treasures and our off-label fake-outs. Let us now make sense (or nonsense) of fashion dictates from on high and build from the picker's pile a democratic manifesto of sartorial hell-yes.
What can one say about style on the cheap that has not already been said? Nothing, but forgive me for saying whatever-it-is again, as today's style atrocities (all too common) and delightful wins (alas, not nearly so common) point to the need for re-circulation, reinforcement and revision of some basic guidelines and some modern critique.
Am I an authority? Yes. Yes, I am. You ask for my bona fides? I got your bona fides rightcheer, in my Swiss-made, mohair-and-wool navy windowpane suit, which I bought for $29.97 (more on that in a future post).
But before we can celebrate our triumphs, we must address the rot beneath our feet. Indeed, The Horrors I see around me compel me to begin by shoring up the foundation, and by foundation I mean underwear, people. And by underwear I mean the wearing of undershirts, the abandonment of which, more than the gewgaws and bullshittery currently festooning our national dresscode, threatens to topple the fashion pyramid we wish to build in filial solidarity.
I propose a rule! No, a mere proposal is insufficient.
I dictate a rule! No, a dictate suggests arbitrary dictatorship. I do not wish to dictate.
Rather, allow me to reveal a fundamental truth of the foundation garment. Yes, reveal. Take this as a revelation neither divine nor exclusive. Let its precision, purity and accuracy wash over us, and let all (in eureka moments, if this strikes them as news) hereinafter recognize, appreciate and obey the following natural law:
For the dapper, the undershirt is NOT optional.
If this is news to you, rejoice! You are now getting helpful information that may save you embarrassment, ridicule and failure. And for those who may be bristling at the notion that you may no longer wear a shirt without the t-shirt underneath, I offer the following words of solace:
1. There is considerable latitude in what kind of undershirt you choose. It may be any pure bright white, 100% cotton, crew-neck undershirt that you want.
2. There are many shirts under which a t-shirt is not required, chiefly shirts of the variety described in number 1 above.
3. In a great many of your favorite settings, this rule does not apply. You may safely ignore it in bed, the gym and while immersed in water, as in the shower, pool or ocean. And precisely nowhere else.
4. Your lovely dress shirts, your favorite polos, your summer casuals all will last much longer with the perspiration and deodorant barrier, and all who cross your path will thank you for the chest-hair barrier.
5. You will never have to pay extra for a color-dyed undershirt ever again, because you will never have to wear one again, particularly under any other shirt.
Spread the good word, fellows.
Frugally yours,
TDT
As a lady fond of a man who can curate a dapper & frugal wardrobe, I humbly submit that this blog be renamed "The Frugal Panda's Dapper Doctrine."
ReplyDeleteThank you for the excellent suggestion, Juliebangs, but as you can see from the tone above, I wish above all to remain humble and avoid the doctrinaire in my service to my fellow dapsters.
DeleteAlso, Pandas, though adorable and intelligent, lack the color palette of the truly dapper.
Frugally yours,
TDT